I have a birthday coming up soon (no, you do not have to get me anything) and I was thinking about previous birthday memories. I had an epiphany at that moment (and a way to increase the interaction of readers on this blog).
What is your best birthday moment? Is it a party? A gift? Is it a funny anecdote? Perhaps the day you could legally drink (Perhaps the day you were officially in the AARP)?
Leave a comment telling me (and everyone else) what it is. Please keep it PG-13 (My kids might read this someday).
I'll go first to break the ice. My most memorable birthday moment (of which there are several) was on the occasion of my 21st birthday. I was working at Eskimo Joes as a bouncer. Unfortunately my b-day fell on a Sunday, which limited the amount of damage I could do to myself. However I was not to be deterred, even with an all day long winterguard rehearsal on Saturday (Winterguard? Too long of a story, another time perhaps). After rehearsal broke for the evening, I didn't even bother to shower (even though I was dripping with sweat). I just changed right there in the gym and took off for Joes (with a designated driver in tow). The entire crew was waiting for me at the door to greet me with cheers, congratulations and...handcuffs? Some of the guys also served as National Guard reservists and thought it would be a funny idea to handcuff me to a barstool. I played along with the joke, even though I didn't know what I was getting into. Me and my barstool saddled up to the bar and legally ordered my first drink (a beer). I consumed it, and four or five more, rather quickly (I was a heavy weight in those days...now I can get plastered on a Zima). Nature's phone call started ringing but I was still attached to lacquered furniture. I called over one of the guys (one with keys) and asked to be released to, um, you know. With a laugh and a look on his face that I'll never forget, he said that if I had to go that bad, I'd find a way. And then he walked off. I figured I could hold it for another 30 minutes or so, but no, I was about to pop like an overinflated balloon (I have a bladder the size of a two year old). With no other recourse, I grabbed my barstool and headed off the men's room. Once I was in the door, I had two options: very long community urinal or toilet. I opted for the urinal. Figuring I would make this as memorable an experience as possible I hopped up on the barstool whilst I, um, went. I was almost done when another patron walked in. For five seconds he just stood there and looked at me. After looking around to see if anyone else was in the room, he whispered, "Hey buddy, where can I get one of those?"
They unlocked the handcuffs when I returned, leaving me free run of the joint for about 20 minutes until close. Much more alcohol was consumed and I retired to my apartment with the blissful peace of having conquered yet another of the milestones of age.
3 comments:
For my 21st, we had a keg party at my place (I was living with Will at the time). Marla Grein, an old high school friend, who I've probably seen three times in the last 13 years, showed up with a bottle of Wild Turkey. I drank most of that bottle, and a lot of the keg, and woke up the next morning early, with no hangover. I even started cleaning the house. It was crazy, like a birthday present from God -- here, Seth, this one time, I'm going to take away any after effects of alcohol. Happy 21st!
Another fond memory would be having dinner with my daughter on my birthday at Don's Steakhouse. Me, my wife, daughter and mother-in-law were all there. It was my first birthday as a dad, I was 30. Just a neat moment. Afterwards, an improptu celebration began, starting at Rick's Place and finishing at West. Ryno brought out stogies for everyone, and we all smoked them on Louise's deck. I have photos of both the dinner and of all of us smoking. I doubt any photos of the 21st birthday are around, unfortunately.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!
Call me when you get a chance, I took the day off work and I don't have your new number with me here at home.
I got you all beat: I lost my virginity on my birthday. And I'm still friends with her so it couldn't have been all that bad.
Your kids are gonna read this?
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