I wish I had a more recent picture. This is Tim, my father-in-law, with Emery on Emery's second birthday. Tim has hair now, and it looks really cool (I tamed his grey hair and added some wicked cool highlights). Anyhoo, I wanted to post something about my father-in-law.
I have father figure issues on an almost Oedipal scale (didn't you read
Oedipus Rex in high school?) Anyhoo, I have father figure issues. I never knew my biological father, viewing his corpse at his funeral as the first time I really got to see him up close. The man I begrudgingly refer to as my stepfather barely deserves the title. For fatherly inspiration, I have to look to my grandfather, who, even though he's been gone for 9 years now, continues to guide me on my own parenting odyssey. So, needless to say, I haven't had much in the way of real time father figure guidance. Then I got married and inherited a whole new set of parents. I've made mention several times about my mother-in-law, Lisa. She has really gone the distance in trying to dispel those mother-in-law-from-hell horror stories you always hear about (interesting aside here...even though my wife is almost 8 years younger than me, my mother-in-law is actually 2 days OLDER than my own mother). However, I've never really talked about my father-in-law, Tim.
Tim is an odd duck. He's a retired police officer (although you wouldn't know it to look at him). He's also a drummer, and a regular at church on Sunday (and you really wouldn't know it to look at him...tattoos, gauged ears and various other piercings to boot). And he's a Republican. Yeah, I know. But...I really love having Tim as a father. When Heather and I first started dating, one of the first things she warned me about was her dad. She tried to prepare me for his personality, almost dreading that initial meeting. Surprisingly (at least for her), it went well. We hit it off quite well. However, it wasn't until a few days later that I think Tim and I really bonded. I have a past (who doesn't, right? Mine's a bit more complicated than yours, I'm sure...if you don't know about it, ask me later) and I wanted to make sure that Tim was okay with me dating his daughter. I arranged a meeting to square away the details with him, scared to death of his reaction (he was a police officer and Heather told me he had a temper...). Surprisingly (at least for me), it went well. Much better than I expected anyway (much better than I would have handled it, if I were in his shoes). From that point forward, I truly felt comfortable with him, to the point that I felt that I could confide in him anything.
Lest you think it's all hugs and kisses, we butt heads. A lot. Politics mainly, but even some of the more trivial things can blow up because we are both very stubborn people. He doesn't give an inch and I refuse to back down. But even all that hasn't dampened our relationship. And a large reason for that is because the man is humble. When he makes a mistake, he admits it and makes an honest attempt at reconciliation (me? I'm never wrong...HA! I have a very hard time admitting mistakes...I think this is in no small part due to my stepfather...). When I told him I was enrolling in cosmetology school, he was skeptical, to put it mildly. But since then, he's been one of my biggest supporters. Even when it's something as simple as a misunderstanding or miscommunication and he was blameless in the incident, Tim still reaches out with the olive branch.
I can't say that I'll ever win a son-in-law of the year award but whenever the nominations come around for father of the year, you can be sure that I'll have Tim's name at the top of my ballot. I'm quite sure that I could do a lot worse (scratch that, I KNOW I've had a lot worse) in father figures, but I really don't think I could do any better than having Tim as a father.
